When I was going through a really rough patch in my marriage, I remember feeling confused. It felt like something inside me had shifted—like something had broken—and I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know how to get back to where we had been, or if it was possible, or even if I wanted to.

 

My first instinct was to reach out for help. I started looking for couples therapists—someone who could help put the pieces back together. I felt like I was in a full-blown crisis. Like my marriage was on fire. But what I ran into was this gap.

 

Traditional weekly therapy—while valuable—just didn’t match the intensity of what I was experiencing. First, you have to find the right person. Then you spend sessions explaining what’s going on. And by the time you really start getting into the work… weeks, sometimes months, have passed.

 

And when you’re in that kind of emotional intensity, that delay matters. Because in the meantime, things are continuing to breakdown. What I needed in that moment was something that matched the urgency and intensity of what I was feeling. I didn’t even fully understand what I was feeling—but I knew it was big.

 

The more intense I became, the more it pushed my partner away. I was on fire—and he responded by creating distance. So now I’m burning, and he’s 100 yards away. And that gap just keeps growing.

 

What I needed wasn’t an hour a week.

 

I needed someone to step in and meet me right there—in the intensity of it.

 

The way I think about it is this:

 

Weekly therapy is great when there’s a leak—you can come in, tighten things up, make adjustments.

 

But when a pipe has burst… when water is flooding the house… you don’t need a wrench.

 

You need someone to shut off the main valve. You need someone to open the walls and actually repair what’s broken.

 

Too often, couples come into therapy with something major going on—but we’re still working within a structure designed for different issues. Therapy was designed as a lifelong process of uncovering the past to free you in the present. Which is great. But when a relationship is having an issues, this isn't something that allows for years of introspection one week at a time.

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So what happens in weekly couples sessions? We open things up, we get emotional, we dig around… and then we put a band-aid on it and send people back out into their lives.

 

It feels like we did something—but we didn’t actually resolve the deeper issue.

 

And sometimes, we perform. It’s easy to perform for an hour in a therapist’s office. To say the “right” things. To present a version of what’s happening.

 

Which is why I feel so strongly about intensives.

 

Because intensives allow us to actually get to the root.

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Two Intensive Options

 

#1: We stay in the office and really dive deep—into each person’s story, the patterns in the relationship, and how those two are constantly intersecting.

 

#2: I come into your home. Because then I’m not just hearing about the problem—I’m seeing it. I can observe the dynamics. The environment. The energy. The ecosystem of the relationship. The ecosystem of the family. And that changes everything. Because now we’re not just working on the couple—we’re working on the entire system that the relationship lives inside of.

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Schedule a relationship assessment to get started. We'll assess your relationship, see where the issues are, and look at how an intensive can help.

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